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Domestic violence checklist

Review this brief checklist of behaviors that can help you identify whether or not you are abused by your partner.

Does your partner do any of the following?

  • Any force during an argument
    • Pushing or shoving
    • Physical restraint
  • Blames others for his feelings
    • You make me mad I can't help being angry
    • Will use feelings to manipulate others
  • Blames others for his problems
    • Someone is always doing him wrong
    • Tells the woman she is at fault for almost anything that goes wrong
  • Breaking or striking objects
    • Used as punishment (breaks loved possessions)
    • Action is used to terrorize the woman into submission
    • May beat on tables with his fist
    • May throw objects around or near the woman
  • Controlling behavior
    • At first he says he is concerned for her safety
    • He then becomes angry when she is late
    • He then questions her closely about her activity
    • He then begins to not let her make decisions
    • Economic abuse may start
  • Cruelty to animals or children
    • Punishes animals brutally, shows insensitivity to their pain
    • Expects children to do things beyond their ability
  • Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde
    • Sudden changes in mood
  • Hypersensitivity
    • The man is easily insulted
    • Claims his feelings are hurt when he is really very mad
    • Rants and raves about the injustice of things that have happened to him (daily life situations)
  • Isolation
    • Tries to cut the woman off from all resources and friends
      • Plays mind games by saying:
        • if she has male friends she's a whore 
        • if she has female friends she's a lesbian 
        • if she is close to her family she is "tied to the apron strings" 
        • her support people are referred to as "causing trouble"
        • he may want to live without a phone
        • He may limit her use of a car, not allow her to work or go to school
  • Jealousy
    • In the beginning he says his jealousy is a "sign of love"
    • He eventually becomes jealous of whoever she spends time with
    • He calls her frequently during the day or drops by unexpectedly
    • He refuses to let her work or attend school for the fear of her meeting someone else
    • He may check car mileage or ask friends to watch her
  • Past battering
    • He may admit to hitting a woman in the past but say "they made me do it"
    • The man's relatives or ex-spouses say he has been abusive
  • "Playful" use of force in sex
    • He may throw her down and hold her during sex
    • He may want to act out fantasies during sex where she is helpless
    • He may sulk or use anger to manipulate her into compliance during sex
    • He may demand sex when she is tired or ill
  • Quick Involvement
    • He claims "love at first sight"
    • Usually become engaged or living together within six months
    • Statements like the following show his desperate need for someone and will pressure her to commit to him
      • "You're the only person I could ever talk to"
      •  "I've never felt loved like this by anyone"
  • Rigid sex roles
    • He expects her to serve and obey him
    • He sees her as inferior to him and other men
    • He believes she is not a whole person without a relationship
  • Threats of violence
    • Any threat of physical force meant to control her
    • Justifies his threats by saying "everyone talks like that"
  • Unrealistic expectations
    • He is dependent upon her for his needs
    • He expects her to be the perfect wife, mother, lover, etc.
    • She is to take care of everything for him emotionally
  • Verbal Abuse
    • He says things to her that are ~ cruel ~ degrading ~ hurtful
    • He belittles and curses her
    • He may awaken her at night to verbally abuse her or to not let her sleep

If you answered yes to one or more of the above. . .you might be abused. You are not alone. Domestic violence is a crime. For help, call the Round Rock Victim’s Services Unit at (512) 218-6663.

City of Round Rock | 221 East Main Street, Round Rock, Texas 78664 | Phone: (512) 218-5400
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